| You get me closer to GOD |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|11:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nine Inch Nials- Suck | ] |
Thank You Trent Reznor. My god It was all I hoped it to be and more. Mike and I were in the second tier at joe Louis, I thought it would be hard to see. Nobody told me that in the second tier you can distigunish facial features! We had great seats, near the stage and we could see everything without the crushing crowd of the mosh pit. Trent must of played half of downward spiral and lots of pretty hate machine. It was classic NIN. Tons of braking shit, swearing and beautiful videography.That was a religous expierence. wow,I am in shock still. Now I get to look forward to the next time he tours, I wont be pregnant then. Mike and i will get floor seats and we will get there extra early so we can be right in the front and it is mike and i's goal to touch Trent Reznors sweaty body.
Sweaty 40 year old industrial rocker...yum |
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| ...You are still in the running for becoming America's Next Top Model |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|09:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Hand That Feeds- Nine Inch Nails | ] |
God can't I get a life? So tonight I watched America's Next Top model...yes I am one of those people. OMG 10 oclock I got a new Real World, damn I am a reality tv junkie. Now I can say there is a good number of reality shows I dont watch, like the Apperantice(s). Why in the hell does NBC have two of those shows, one with Trump and one with Martha Stewart, god tv is going to hell in a hand basket along with my attention span. I havent really watched TV for the past two days because I had exams,so I can spoil myself with this mindless entertainment.
I am excited, and do you know why?
I AM GOING TO SEE NINE INCH NAILS THIS SATURDAY AT JOE LOUIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cant wait. I love Trent, but not as much as my Gwynnie and Mikey poohs of course. I have been listening to NIN for the past week to get myself pumped up, but it is not be necessary. I hope I am not so excited when I see Trent that I go into premature labor. Luckily Mike and I are sitting in the second tier...away from crushing crowds on the floor. It is so sad that I became a NIN fan so late in life. Lets say I was isolated from good music. Maybe I was driven away from good music by Limp Bizkit, (only good stuff was three dollar bill, y'all). I didnt hear NIN till the 10h grade and it wasnt 'Closer', it was 'Into the Void' back when there was a MTV rock music station in TC. I went out and bought the fragile and immediately love it. Then bought the rest of his stuff over the next few years. Never really showed my devotion to Nine Inch Nails much, so most people didnt know I was a fan. When I got to college though I kept the door open to my room and got some sweet ass Bose speakers and hooked them up to my lap top. All of Landon new I loved NIN. One night some friends of mine started drinking in my room and Emma saw this guy we saw three nights in a row and we went down to his dorm room and we we smoked a shit ton of weed out of a hookah. Now I hadnt smoked weed since 10th grade, so I got blown out of mind (plus I was wasted). I started talking to the guy who lived in this dorm room and he had some NIN on and had heard me listening to NIN too, so we started talking. We immediately clicked (well as much as two stoned people can). We talked for hours and at the end of the night I fell alsleep in his bed. I woke up the next the morning, forgot where I was and forgot the name of the man alsleep next to me. I woke him up and told him I had to go and sly I asked for his full name. He said "Mike Meador". He is the same man I sleep with every night and the person I love the most in the world. If it wasnt for Nine Inch Nails, you never know we may have never started to talk to each other and eventually fall in love.
Now if Gwyn asks us how we met we may skim over the whole stoned and drunk part. |
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| When is Rome... |
[Sep. 7th, 2005|06:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative snuggles | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Silverchair-Tommorrow | ] |
Since I am in a linguistics class, this really interested me.
Your Linguistic Profile:
|
75% General American English |
15% Upper Midwestern |
5% Midwestern |
5% Yankee |
0% Dixie |
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| The craziness of my life |
[Aug. 23rd, 2005|05:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  full | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Come out and PLay- The Offspring | ] |
Well I am bored out of my head. Mike is at work, Emma is woking, Owen is in St. Ignance, everyone is somewhere else. I am stating to feel isolated. I dont like being by myself but it seems more and more I am alone. I cant party and I cant stay up late because I get tired. Everyone one in my family is having a shitty time. My grandpa Hunt is the hospital, my sister Bessy is going through major family issues, they wont be able to make it to my baby shower. No one will be able to make it fucking shower. Not even my own fucking dad or Mike. I cant take it, I just feel out of control.
I am always alone.
Just me and Gwyn. |
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| Guess who's back? |
[Aug. 19th, 2005|06:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  dirty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sunspots-Nine Inch Nails | ] |
Well I'm back!
For you who dont know it, I'm pregnant. So if I haven't told you, dont take it personally, I just havent had time to tell everyone I know. I just hoped that word of mouth reached you by now. So Gwyneth is kicking a lot! It makes me feel all maternal when she moves around. Mike is excited too..but Gwyn doesnt kick when he is feeling my belly :( Ohter than that, I have been kicking ass with my summer classes I am going to get a 3.846 GPA and honestly I cant wait for this fall semester. I cant take just sitting around the apartment with no more homework to do and everyone is pretty much out of town. This fall I am going for a 4 point average, hopefully I get it, deans list and pregnancy sounds good. Anyways it should be a breeze cause I cant drink anymore and go out and party till 4 am anymore, ever agian. I am not unhappy about, I love Gwyn already and I am going to do anything to make sure she has a secure future. But its hard to do...its like an addict coming clean...they dont want to abuse anymore but yet its hard not too. Not like I am an acoholic..I'm a party-holic, I'm a 20 years old college student, I'm not perfect. But I wont do my freshman year ever again or my sophomore year either. I have to be an adult for the first time in my 20 year life. Thats alright, I'm not being robbed of anything, I get to be a mother. I was not big on having kids at first, we didnt try to get pregnant! Hell i was on birth control, but the more I became pregnant the more comfortable I became with being a mother. Now I dont look forward to the first couple of year, those are the ones filled with sleepless nights. I dont look forward to the late teenage years, when she leaves the nest.
Anyways peace out
Tmamma |
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| Something happens and I am head over heals |
[May. 27th, 2005|06:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Jay-Z/Linkin Park- Big Pimping/Papercut | ] |
So yea..god damn hormones, my panic attacks are back. I am a lot better now but I went so nuts I called up my doctor and they had me come in right away. I love my doctors office its filled with womenly love...its like a giant womb. Well hell it is an ob/gyn office, thats the way it should be. The bad thing about being back on this med is that I am going through the side affects all over again. The headaches for the first couple of days, the shitting...ok I wont go into further detail. Well I am going to see Revenge of the Sith agian with naomi and owen..I'm excited! Once was not enough!
Well sith happens |
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| She was a happy girl the day that she left me |
[May. 5th, 2005|08:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Jumpy? | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Stone Temple Pilots-Sour Girl | ] |
Ahhh...kick up your heels kid cause you done till next fall. Me on the other hand, I am taking 13 credits this summer! I am excited though! It will be nice walking around campus...sweating my ass off..I rather be sweating my ass off rather than freezing it off.
Anyways I am a hater
Peace out...out visiting tonight...being good! |
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| We'll drift into the sun... |
[May. 4th, 2005|05:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  gloomy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nine Inch Nails-All The Love In The World | ] |
Wow, geo lab really sucks. I just took "screw me in the ass" exam. Wow, I guess I would feel better if I wasnt trying...but I was. I would have had to study for 10 hours to get a 4 point on that exam! Whatsevers I am sick anyways. I have a headache and I feel like I am going to hurl...all really want to do is sleep. But how can I be sleepy pooh without my Mikey pooh? Oh welll he'll be home around 5... that realy sucks! I guess I should look up some info for my exam tomorrow..oh thats right sleeping will take the place of that.
I love NIN....my god this cd is awesome! Not as good as the fragile and the stuff attached to it. This cd is not like the fragile, more like Dowmward Spiral and pretty hate machine...with a dash of broken. I remember back in the day I was a big Limp Bizkit fan...what the hell was wrong with me. But my sophomore year I heard NIN for the first time...trust me I was isolated from good music. Then it was all over...the fragile pulled me in and then I started to listen to Radiohead and stuff... I never really told anyone...I didnt know a lot about those bands and i expected people to call me a poser.
I am glad now I can be an open lover of NIN and all other awesome bands! |
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| Poor Mommy Poohs |
[May. 3rd, 2005|06:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Nobody fucks with my mom! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NINE INCH NAILS-Everyday Is Exactly The Same | ] |
Poor Mommy Poohs! My mom's boyfriend/fiancé broke up with her yesterday. She thinks he was cheating on her...the sleazebag probably was. At first I didn’t like him because he was a sleazy Italian from Detroit...but slowly he won my trust because my mom obviously loved him. SO what ever...he gets her a ring and all that shit and last night he said to her "I don’t love you the way you love me, can we just be friends?" No that i am an adult, I can have an adult opinion, he’s a sleazy fucking dirt bag from Detroit THAT BROKE MY MOTHER'S Heart!
And I won’t stand for this and Christopher Reeves won’t stand for this neither!
Well I got 2 more test to go…officially two 4 points! |
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| Put on those blue swade shoes |
[Apr. 30th, 2005|01:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | restless | ] |
| [ | music |
| | David Bowie-Lets Dance | ] |
So I gots to go to my nieces first communion tomorrow...but Mike and i have to stay at my sis's house over night. I love my sister Bessy...but I hate the rest of relitives. So does my Brother Maurice...me and him are in the same boat. Both me and him are kind of the outcast...we both listen to rock, we are atheist and we hate our family. Family gatherings are things we both try to aviod. Though our sister Bessy embraces family gatherings even though she get pissed off at them. My fucking family is nuts! I dont know how I continue communications with them...most of the time when they call I just silence my phone. My parents and the rest of my family have always been afraid that I would run away. Hell who wouldnt want to run away from people that fucked you up. Oh well at least I'll get to see my sis. She's awesome. |
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| What you waiting for? |
[Apr. 28th, 2005|07:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nauseated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Gwen Stefani-What you waiting for? | ] |
So I feel like I have no time to do anything, so I just dont do anything. Weird uh? I feel so overweled I just sit on my ass and watch history channel international. I dont know, I just think I am going through a bout of depression. Maybe not a bout of depression but a massive increase in hormones. I know not to far down the road I wont have time to do anything, maybe I should just enjoy the silence. So thats the approach I am going to take. I'm not lazy but I am enjoy the few last months of freedom. Hell I up for 14 credits this summer...signing up for pell grants and going to doctor appointments, I just feel like in the middle of all that running around that I should have time to decompress and sleep. I do at least 11 hours of that a day.
I think I figured something out about my music tastes. I like music that has a great lead singer. Though I dont like crappy bands...I only like the whole package if its good. Hell they dont have to sing words...they just have to sound good. Like Trent reznor, Thom Yorke, Bono, Andre 3000 and ect... I just like the singers that can use their voice as an instrument rather then a way of conveying lyrics. Let me restate the point that only if their band is good too...hell I like Radiohead and NIN stuff even when they just say a couple of words or nothing at all. See I would like the killers more if that lead singer didnt sound like shit. I just dont like it...I dont know why his voice sounds bad it just does to me. I love their music but he should just shut the fuck up and let the band do thier thing. |
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| April showers bring May flowers... |
[Apr. 23rd, 2005|11:56 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved by Mikey Poohs | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Outkast-Bombs Over Baghdad | ] |
Man isn’t this weather shitty? This kind of shit makes me want to move farther away to the south. Away from Hudson Bay! I really don’t have any plans for today or tonight for that matter. But Mikey has today and tomorrow off =).
Let me get up on my soap box now. I am against most pro-life people, this is why. I believe you can hold whatever opinions you want...it’s a free country, but pro-life people are hypocrites, asshole, and are ignorant. If they cared so much for life, then why are they against national health care? Most women have abortions because of lack of medical insurance...most "pro-life" republicans are even against WIC which gives health care to underprivileged kids.
In addition to that these "pro-lifers” , are for the war in Iraq and pretty much whatever war Bush and his cronies can dream up. War is the opposite of life. I don’t care what reason that we have to go to war in the middle-east is. If we care so much what’s going on is the middle east, what about the genocide in Sudan? Or North Korea? Or a plethora of countries that are worse to their people than Hussein was. More people have died in those countries than did in the world trade center...I don’t care how bad that makes me sound. It’s the god damn truth. American Lives are not worth more than other world citizens. Not saying I am against wars…but the war in Iraq is ridiculous. War for oil is wrong!
Plus these religious right assholes decide they want to take away sex education, claiming it is something that must be taught by the church or at home. HA...most girls that have abortions are from underprivileged homes (by the way republicans made that way, for the most part), those homes usually have one parent, who are not educated either. That mother will never have time to teach her kids morals between her two part-time minimum wage jobs or even about sex for that matter. So hey lets send a bunch of kids who know nothing about STD's or pregnancy out onto the streets so some corporation can pay less in taxes.
Another beef I have against these pro-lifers is that they vote in people who are responsible for getting rid of overtime and taking away many good paying jobs because of their anti-union stance. So you can get pregnant easily (hell you come from the ghetto, you didn’t know that douching right after sex wasn’t effective birth control) but if you need to raise your child you must work two or even three jobs to support it. No wonder most girls just have abortions rather than having it, you cannot judge them.
This isn’t all I have against republicans, but I also have some issues with the democrats too. They have been quiet when they should be out in the streets screaming. They are responsible for the lack of interest from young people. They have say what’s really going on and don’t care if they offend some dumb southerners, those poor brainwashed bastards will never vote democrat, they are too afraid of going to hell.
I am not against people that are anti-abortions, I am just saying you cannot support republican policies and be truly pro-life. |
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| I am two decades old! |
[Apr. 16th, 2005|11:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thirsty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Piggy-Nine Inch Nails | ] |
My birthday was ok...it would have been better if Mikey pooh got the night off for me. He's a bad pooh. But I am not mad...20 is a horrible age. I feel old but not old enough to drink. Any birthday after 21 is pointless. I think people should stop celebrating birthdays between the age 22 and 69. Though 70 is an age worth celbration and then 80, 90 and so on. Not the in between brithdays though like 79 or 88, thats pointless as well. Maybe I'll make and exception for 65 when you can get social security benifits. But I dont think anyone our age is ever going to recieve social security. Fuck it Mike and I will be in Canada by then!
Thanks for everyone remembering..(and those who didnt, I dont give fuck...I dont remember other peoples bday, thats why I have facebook) |
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| I'm not a teenager anymore |
[Apr. 15th, 2005|01:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  with child | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Radiohead-Like spinning plates | ] |
I may not be a teenager anymore but I still love Johnny Depp. |
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| UGGGGHHHHH |
[Apr. 12th, 2005|05:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Fucking Cranky | ] |
I have been in just the worst mood today. I feel like killin'. It doesnt matter if you deserve it or not I am just testy as hell.
I just wanted to say that shit and fucking be a little ass about it.
I dont give a fucking shit
Fuck you all
bye |
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| Sunny Bono skis horses hitting some trees |
[Apr. 11th, 2005|06:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Spewing Green stuff | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Alien Ant Farm-Movies | ] |
The visit went alright with Mike's Parents...no drama between Mike and his mom thank god.I took an exam this morning that I studied for 15 minutes. Umm yeah...combined with that week of class I missed I dont think I did too hot. Oh well.
I dont care who read this...but i got the runs...poo poo on that.
I need some rest...feeling keyed up...my docs appointment is wednesday, yay! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 8th, 2005|06:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Strange | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Eminem-Drug Ballad | ] |
I feel stressed out though I have nothing to be stressed about. I took my med today..the first time in a couple of days...I am in a weird place right now. I feel disconected again, I probably should go back to two doses a day again. I thought I was done with this, I am in therapy, I was feeling better..and all of the sudden I am in the same position as I started before. I dont whats up..maybe its the weather...maybe its school...maybe its death that triggers all this. I am not religious by any means but the death of the pope struck a cord with me, someone so kind, so revired, died. I dont know...I didnt know him, in way I am happy that he finaly died, he was struggling with parkison and he was always ill. Why did I let this death change me?Why did I let it bring me back to the same place I was before? I just got to keep telling myself I am in control of my panic. Easier said then done.
Also I am stressed about going to Cleveland. His parents give me panic attacks. Oh well at least there will be a dog there. I need a dog, they are the best stress relievers. They are truly man's best friend.
Mikey poohs is a little fatty |
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| I wish I had a basket full of puupies |
[Apr. 6th, 2005|07:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  touched | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Radiohead-Let Down | ] |
Today was great. It was beautiful outside, i got a new toy from mikey poohs and best part is that I spent a lot of time snuggling mike.( snuggling does NOT mean sex) All I would need to top off this wonderful day is puppies...fat ones...I mean real fatties. I really feel content with life. The first time in a long time. I am just happy to live.
This new "toy" that i got is a sony vaio desktop!This is the shit, right now i am coping all my cds to it! I'll never watch TV...my old comp would overheat any time I would try to play music. I love this thing.
Red Sky at night Sailors delight, red sky in the morning sailors to warning. |
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| Luke warm spring breezes |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|01:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Slipping Away | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Modest Mouse-Ocean Breathes Salty | ] |
I love East Lansing! Especially day like this...nothing is better then walking around campus in flip flops and a tee shirt. Saturday night sucked ass, not cause i didnt have fun, b/c Spartans lost to unc! I have ALWAYS hated the Tar Heels...the most...uuggghhh! I just hate them! Izzo is still awesome and the womens team are still rocking out, did you see their comeback!
I have a really relaxing week...but the weekend...fuck. Mike and I have to go to Cleveland this Sunday. My god, mike's mom makes me feel so unconfortable, she's a lot like my dad. Also i have a test that monday too!
MY BIRTHDAY IS APRIL 15th
Dont forget! |
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| Wow! Is that a gun in your pocket or ya just happy to see me? |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|07:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  geeky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ben Folds-Rocking the Suburbs | ] |
I got my geo 204 test results, got another 4 point!!! Not surprising, geography, HA. Went to see my adviser for geography, she says that i should look into climatology, I think that sounds good. I dont know yet I like human geography a lot! But i got so many credits that could be applied toward climatology and that I like the idea of applied mathematics...I do not know. Life questions seems too early to answer.
Be as wild as a tiger and sleep like a house cat. |
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